Thursday, 31 March 2011

TSA Witch: Leavin’ on a Broomstick

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We might argue that all the females feeling us up in airports are witches. But Carole Smith, who tortures passengers in Albany, New York, actually admits that she is. 

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) fired her last year — because she’s a witch, she says, though the agency contends she was merely insubordinate. Either way, how could even the TSA be stupid enough to discharge so qualified an employee? Not only does Carole “proudly [acknowledge] being a witch,” but “her training as a massage therapist kept her from being squeamish, as some officers were, about patting down [sic for 'sexually molesting'] elderly and special-needs passengers.” Oh, I’ll bet. If the TSA weren’t an inept bureaucracy, it would recruit from massage parlors, brothels, and yes, covens rather than pizza-boxes.

Naturally, Carole wants her job back. And you can see why: who besides the TSA pays deviants to act like witches while pawing victims? No wonder Carole sued the agency. A judge ruled against her, as judges almost always do when the defendant is the TSA. The plaintiff has appealed.