Jack KennyThe old cowboy-philosopher Will Rogers was fond of saying he wasn't really telling jokes, he just watched the government and reported the news. At other times, Rogers claimed to be among the nation's largest employers: "There's no trick to being a humorist," he would say, "when you've got the whole government working for you."

Chip WoodIf you live in Florida, Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Pennsylvania, or Rhode Island, there is something I hope you will do. Call or write your Senator (I'll tell you which one in a moment) and ask him or her why he/she helped launch a vicious anti-Semitic smear against the new junior Senator from Kentucky, Rand Paul.

Class warfare, as we have been told by Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, and every other socialist and communist, is inherent in capitalist society because of the conflict between management and labor, between the owners of corporations and their employees, between the workers and the bourgeoisie. And the only solution to this conflict is the peaceful or violent transfer of corporate ownership from the stockholders to the employees.

We might argue that all the females feeling us up in airports are witches. But Carole Smith, who tortures passengers in Albany, New York, actually admits that she is. 

Jack KennyThey are generally referred to as  "talking points," but are sometimes called "marching orders." They are instructions members of Congress, or candidates for same, receive from their party's headquarters or its congressional leadership to help them stay "on message." That means not only holding on for dear life and campaign funding to the substance of the message, but also clinging even to specific words and phrases, usually tested in polls and with focus groups. It's enough to make you think "talking points" are what Edgar Bergen gave Charlie McCarthy. Or what Joe Stalin gave Franklin Roosevelt.