Bizarre Solution to Save the Planet
Article audio sponsored by The John Birch Society

Just when you thought you’d heard it all when it comes to bizarre solutions to the imaginary global warming threat, along comes the Optimum Population Trust. In a new twist on “cap and trade,” the UK-based environmental think tank says that the key to decelerating the rate of calamitous climate change is to send condoms in bulk to poor people.

In a press release sent to the author by the organization’s administrator, Julie Lewis, the Optimum Population Trust cites its own research as well as a report from the UN Population Fund as evidence to support its thesis that “family planning is eight times cheaper as a way of tackling global warming than solar power and four times less costly than wind power.”
 
The Trust supports its initiative with direct-mail leaflets and billboards depicting a green field dotted with white wind turbines, a hybrid car, a seedling planted in black soil, a bank of solar panels, and a hand holding a condom in a wrapper. The tagline: “Which of these is the most effective way of offsetting carbon emissions?” The point: the world’s wealthy governments and individuals can offset (trade) their carbon footprint by funding contraceptive programs (cap) in developing countries where the poor are having too many children thus increasing the pool of potential CO2 emitters.
 
With their sights set on Copenhagen and the climate summit set to begin next week, the Optimum Population Trust’s director, Roger Martin, said, “It has been acknowledged for many years the current level of human population growth is unsustainable and places acute pressure on global resources.” Martin and his comrades argue that since the charitable men and women in developed regions are so keen on being “green” they should be educated on the most cost-effective way to spend their planet preserving money.
 
The figures presented by the Trust’s press release indicate that whereas it would cost about $50 (£ 31) to save one ton of CO2 by investing in solar power, the same reduction could be achieved by spending only $6 (£ 4) on various family planning procedures among the populating polluters of the Third World.
 
In advance of the Copenhagen convention, the Optimum Population Trust has established an informative website, PopOffsets.com, where all their supporting junk science is explained with head-shaking sincerity, and where the converted can donate online to the cause and feel good about saving the planet – one condom at a time.