In a somewhat shocking announcement, former GOP presidential contender Tim Pawlenty announced that he will be endorsing Mitt Romney for president. The former Minnesota Governor sent an email to Romneys supporters early today indicating that Romney alone possesses the necessary qualities to bring America out of this economic crisis.

The military-industrial complex is pulling out all the stops to ensure that not one dime of its vast federal largess is taken away even as the nation faces nearly $15 trillion in debt. Defense contractors, Representatives and Senators, and current and former Defense Secretaries are working together to thwart actual and potential cuts in defense spending resulting from the August debt ceiling deal.

In yet another display of government inefficiency, government officials in Bethesda, Maryland, located just outside of Washington, D.C., have decided to spend $4 million to house 12 homeless people for a single year. That averages out to approximately $330,000 per person, a figure that grows even more absurd when one observes that the average price of a single family home in the United States is just over $170,000.

The enlightened scholars of the American Political Association gathered for a convention during Labor Day Weekend, and wouldn’t you know it, the degreed wizards agree: Tea Party Americans are bigots.

Democratic Representative Dennis Kucinich (left) of Ohio has been harshly critical of the Obama administration as of late, and is now advocating a challenge to President Obama in a primary. According to Kucinich, such an endeavor would likely turn Obama into a better president.