Chavez: Capitalism May Have Ended Martian Life
Article audio sponsored by The John Birch Society

Socialist Venezuelan “President” Hugo Chavez prompted ridicule and concern about his well being after suggesting in a speech that “capitalism” and “imperialism” may have ended life on Mars, adding the possible demise of Martian civilization to a long list of ills the revolutionary leader blames on free markets.

“On Mars, I’ve always said, heard, that it would not be strange if on Mars there had been civilization,” Chavez told the nation during his televised March 22 speech celebrating World Water Day. “But maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived, and finished off that planet.”

Chavez suggested during his speech that capitalism was largely responsible for humanity’s ills, too. He said the loss of vegetation, for example, could also be attributed to free markets.

Next, the Venezuelan leader issued a dire warning: the Earth could face the same fate as Mars. “Careful! Today, here on planet Earth, where there were —hundreds of years ago or less — big forests, now there are only deserts,” he said. “Where there were rivers, there are deserts.”  

The process of desertification puts life on Earth in danger in the medium term, Chavez added. He also said the phenomenon was responsible for allegedly shrinking water supplies across the planet.

News reports noted that this was not the first time Chavez theorized about life on Mars. It was, however, the first time he publicly offered an explanation about how the hypothetical Martians may have come to an end.

In the recent past, Chavez blamed heavy rains and bad weather that washed away shanty towns in Venezuela on capitalism as well. He has repeatedly said free markets are responsible for “global warming” before demanding that “rich” countries give his regime more compensation money. Global socialism, according to the would-be dictator for life, is the only answer.

Problems not directly attributable to capitalism are normally blamed on the “Yankee Empire,” one of Chavez’ favorite terms for the U.S. government. During a recent visit to Communist China, he told reporters: “We are creating a new world, a balanced world. A new world order, a multipolar world.” The new order, Chavez explained, would see China, Iran and other countries rise as the U.S. falls.

During his water speech earlier this week, which attracted headlines across the globe, Chavez also said — perhaps more plausibly — that the Western attacks against “the Libyan people” were based on lies. The true objective of the “irresponsible war” being waged by the “imperialist government” of the United States and the “sub-imperial” regimes of Europe is to capture the energy supplies of North Africa and an “ocean of fresh water” buried under the desert sands, he alleged.  

But even commentators who agreed with Chavez’ assertions that consumption is bad and causes global warming ridiculed the socialist leader’s theorizing about Mars. “[T]here are some major holes in Chavez’s theory: First, there are all kinds of reasons why species disappear and planets become inhospitable to life,” noted Alex Moore in a piece for Death and Taxes. “Dinosaurs didn’t need Best Buys to go extinct, and a planet’s atmosphere doesn’t necessarily, either.”

While analysts often write off Chavez as a lone lunatic who will eventually fall, the truth is that his regime has prominent allies and should be considered very dangerous — and not just because it rigs elections, imprisons opponents and aids terrorists. The current Venezuelan government is in fact an integral part —especially in terms of financing — of a powerful Latin American network known as the Foro de São Paulo, or São Paulo Forum.

Founded by former Brazilian President Luiz Inacio “Lula” da Silva, communist dictator Fidel Castro and the revolutionary Sandinistas, the cabal now controls most Latin American governments. Consisting of hundreds of socialist and communist parties, terrorists, drug traffickers and organizations, the group uses “petrodollars” from Venezuela and drug profits to finance socialist revolution throughout the region. It has also received assistance from Russia, China and other foreign powers.

The Chavez regime also continues to score big victories. Earlier this month, for example, his socialist “Electricity Minister” was appointed to serve a one-year term as the Secretary General of the newly established South American Union (UNASUR or UNASUL).

The Union of South American Nations, based on the integration model of the European Union, is already seeking to expand. It is expected to continue gaining influence in the years ahead. And with people like Chavez and his cohorts at the helm — blaming capitalism for everything from global warming and bad weather to the possible doom of Martian civilization — the future doesn’t look bright.