Monday, 19 September 2011

Statists Order High School to Change “Indians” Nickname

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It’s time to originate a new joke: “What do you call 10,000 statists at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.”

What prompts me to quip about this watery solution is the latest bit of lunacy from the Tolerance and Diversity Nazis: Wisconsin education officials have ordered Berlin High School near Milwaukee to change its nickname from the “Indians.” The problem, found the Department of Public Instruction (DPI), is that the name is race-based.

The first reaction should be, “So what?” But more on that in a moment.

The Chicago Tribune reports that this move was instigated by a complaint from a Berlin HS alumnus.

That’s right, one complaint.

Talk about the squeaky (and one-screw-loose) wheel getting the grease.

Obviously, you can find one person to gripe about anything. But, in today’s Amerika, if it happens to be a politically incorrect thing, well, we just have to purge tradition and rearrange our whole civilization. I mean, you can’t risk offending 1 person out of 308 million.

And even if we accept that the name is “race-based,” what’s so bad about that? Here is a simple I.Q. test. The high school adopted the nickname “Indians” because they:

A. Hated Indians

B. Wanted to demean Indians

C. Thought that Indians were neat and the embodiment of bravery

Oh, I guess we can’t acknowledge differences among groups or imply that they might be unique. So much for diversity.

As for race-based names, it wouldn’t in the least trouble me, a man of half-German heritage, if a team were named the “Fighting Whites” or the “Teutonic Knights.” In fact, I would think that any sane Indian might be upset that Berlin’s sports team, which had enough affection for his culture to adopt its name, would no longer be allowed to bear that moniker.

And, anyway, haven’t we been told that “Indians” is no longer a relevant term unless you’re talking about the land of Gandhi?  Aren’t they now “native Americans”? If I were Berlin H.S., I would just respond to the DPI with befuddlement and mention that the name refers to India and hence is nationality-based.

Besides, who is an Indian? The public recently learned that the descendants of the Cherokees’ black slaves have been classified as Indians for the last 150 years. And if Ward Churchill could be considered an Indian and appointed chairman of a university’s ethnic studies department partially on that basis, I think a bunch of Wisconsin schoolboys can be Indians, too.

Then, what about the Cleveland Indians and Washington Redskins? Will a serious effort be made to get them to relinquish their race-based names also? Oh, yeah, in their cases the names are brands that make millions. “Here’s the lesson, kids! We have principles — but money buys you a dispensation from them. Sort of like Ozone Al Gore using more energy than a death star.”

But if Berlin H.S. must change the name, I have a few suggestions. They could make a statement and change it to the “We’re Not Indians” or the “DPI Destroyers.” The “Cowboys,” “Sherman’s Fighters” and “Custer’s Cavalry” also come to mind.  If all of that is too cheeky for you, then a more realistic option is the “Braves.” And, if they do stand up to these cultural terrorists in our midst, they’ll be well-deserving of that name.

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